#not funny..... cried

[c4fin4t3d-f1sh]

Here is my,, cogsby angsty fanfic,, please do not cry by the end of this..its so sad..

Cogs used to love walking but was jumped everyday,, and sadly got gears bones jumbled everyday,, everytime cogs tried to eat,, the food would explode 😿 , then when cogs tried to sleep the bed exploded,, when cog finally got home,, rust exploded for the final time and died,, rust's final words were,, 'chat..am I cooked? " this is my sad fan fiction do not cry I know it's so sad..

*sobs uncontrollably* THIS IS SO SAD AND ANGSTY........ 😿😿😿

WAGGHHHH!!!

[foldingfittedsheets]

Mattresses, unbeknownst to many, are a lot like cars. Every year new ones roll out, they’re always tweaking and innovating and you’ll never find the same one you loved decades ago when buying a new one.

Where I sold mattresses had a three month return or exchange program for this reason. New beds take a while to break in, and they’re a big expense. Your body is used to the old one. So we made sure people were loving it. If a bed got returned we’d take it back, sanitize and clean it, then sell it again on clearance.

To sell these we always had to disclose what clearance meant to customers, and they had to sign that they knew what they were getting. (FYI, not every company is as… forthright about the used bed situation)

In clearance we had beds that were floor models, we had returns, and more rarely we had old models whose line had been discontinued. These clearance beds were always final sale, so a bed could only be sold twice.

Now, the manager at the store I was working at had realized a vital fact. Clearance beds in the warehouse didn’t sell, especially old models that salespeople weren’t familiar with. And even more especially in odd sizes, like twin extra longs. So he set up a split king on the showroom floor to exhibit clearance beds, pulling all those forgotten twin extra longs out onto the showroom.

Almost all of these were brand new discontinued models. Beds I’d never learned in training were exhumed to be displayed. The manufacturers had moved on to new lines and they’d been left behind. Why would he take such in interest in selling old stock, you might wonder? Because we made double commission on the sales margin of clearance beds, and if we’d had a bed long enough they dropped the cost in the system so it was a fucking cash cow to sell these. Even with huge discounts the commissions were wonderful so it was a win win.

When I got started I was jazzed about this program, I was so on board to sell weird old brand new beds and make a ton of money. I had a wonderful older couple come in, looking for a split king adjustable set. This was a white whale sale.

The current clearance models on the floor were a latex mattress that was brand new despite being of an age to start first grade, and a tempurpedic floor model. The couple laid down and it was like magic. They each loved the bed they’d laid down on. They wanted to buy the whole shebang.

I. Was. Thrilled. I told them about the clearance program and what that meant, and they weren’t bothered in the least. I wrote up the sale then dashed into the back, fizzing with excitement to tell my manager what I’d done.

“You sold the death bed?!” He asked in delight.

I pulled up short, my smile freezing in place. “What…?”

“Didn’t you check the notes?”

I hesitated for a long beat then slowly shook my head. You see, dear reader, all beds had a personal history. Every clearance bed had logs written up by the person who took the return, as well as warehouse crew after sanitizing. It helped us know what to expect when selling them. “Wasn’t it just a floor model? You said it was a floor model…”

He slowly shook his head. I checked the notes.

It turned out, it had been sold as a floor model. The first time. But the company had made an exception and taken it back as a return two months later. Why? Because it’s owner had passed away.

I stared at the computer in horror and my manager shrugged. “They signed the clearance form. Technically it was a floor model.”

“We know for a fact that a man died in that bed!”

“What they don’t know can’t haunt them,” he said philosophically.

The man came back a week later for more sheets, utterly delighted to tell me how well they were sleeping. I clamped my teeth down around the secret of the deathbed, choosing to let them love their new bed without the stigma. Only one person would be haunted by that deathbed, and it was me.

[aardvaark]

everyones fave thieves

[spudcat]

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Learning to celebrate the little wins!

[tyrannosarahsrex8]

He’s Just Like This.

[yuutaguro]

[papamin au 🐅 spinoff] playground fun 🛝

[hyuckonia]

deuce fucking dies dot jpg

bonus:

old man breaks back laughing at lame joke too hard 😂😂😂😔

[xxplastic-cubexx]

thought of a beautiful woman today

[dapper-lil-arts]

Hey Celestia what's up with this mirror. Inspired by this lol

[dogcatrabbitbirdfan]

perpetually thinking about megumi, yuuji, and nobara being a trio comprised of two people who are actually dumb as rocks, and one person who is the smartest at their school.

nobara and yuuji were MADE to be stupid best friends and megumi was made to think for all three of them :P

[wikitpowers]

something about jamie campbell bower as jace wayland in the cob movie hit different oof…

[xxoolii]

you know what my favourite tgcf moment is, when xie lian got black out drunk for two whole days and was a general nuisance to society. king shit for real.

[potatobugz]

here is a collection of riptide drawings that i made a while ago but never posted ^_^

[iwasbored777]

[maskedchip]

silly thing i drew. investigation goes wrong

audio is from community, season 2 episode 2, Accounting for Lawyers 🤓☝